I spend most of my days alone. I don’t know if that is good or bad. I like being alone, but often feel like I am wasting away as the rest of the world goes by. Do other people feel like this? Do we all feel like we are just wasting away? No one talks about it.

I’m crazy, I say.
How so?
Stick around long enough, and you will see.

Maybe I am not wasting my life? Every day, I’m busy. I’m busy doing things I want to do. Well, sort of. More like, doing things I need to do to live a happy life… someday. Damn, I really hope I am happy someday. In the meantime, thank God for weed.

Tell me about yourself, he says.
Oh, I don’t know about all that.
You can’t scare me.
Oh… I don’t know about all that.

But technically – in the scheme of things – aren’t we all just wasting our lives? I mean, our lives are meaningless – in the scheme of things. We all think we matter as individuals. We don’t. None of us. That kind of thinking can really fuck you up. It’s the only kind of thinking I got. What the fuck am I doing? What the fuck is anyone doing? No one knows.

I could never hurt you, he says.
That is very optimistic of you.
You know I couldn’t.
Stick around, and say that after you see… Nevermind.