Tag Archives: erotica

March 27, 2021

Never Touch a Woman’s Things

By Rhonda

“Georgie, darling, which shirt should I wear tonight?” Joe stepped out of his walk-in closet with two dress shirts – one blue, the other maroon. Georgie, his girlfriend, sat on a rocking chair in the corner of his room, her glass eyes staring straight ahead. Joe walked over to her and stood directly in her gaze. 

“Oh baby, I know you hate when I go for a night on the town…” Joe bent over and kissed Georgie on the forehead. She didn’t budge. “Don’t be upset. Think about the reward!” 

Joe turned and faced the full-length mirror next to Georgie. He held up each shirt to his chest. “Maroon it is!” He put the blue shirt back in his closet and went into the bathroom to get ready. When he returned, he wore his maroon dress shirt untucked with designer blue jeans. His hair was slick back and he reeked of cheap cologne. He sat down on his bed to put on his shoes.

“I will be back as soon as possible, you know that,” Joe said to Georgie. “Why don’t you try to get some rest while I’m gone? I’ll shower you with gifts as soon as I return. Nothing but the best for my love!” 

Joe stood up and pulled back the blankets on one side of the bed. He picked up Georgie out of the rocking chair and stripped her of her pink gown. “No panties today, baby? You’re such a naughty girl. I can’t wait to ravish you later.” He tucked her in and kissed her soft, silicone lips. “I love you, darling,” he whispered, as he turned out the lights.

Joe drove to a bar called Liberty’s on the other side of town where no one knew him. Word on the street was that many of the regulars at this bar were desperate divorcees. 

Looks like the rumors are true, Joe thought, as he scoured the bar area. Liberty’s was a relatively small place, with just enough room for a couple tables along the back wall. On this particular night, the odds seemed to be in his favor, with more women than men standing around. Joe ordered a whiskey on the rocks and sat on a stool at the end of the bar.

“Well, look at you,” slurred the young woman next to him. “My name is Erica.” 

“Nice to meet you, Erica,” Joe beamed. Erica was exactly who he was hoping to meet. She wore a fitted purple dress that showed off her toned legs and accessorized with nothing but gold. Georgie would love this outfit.

Erica leaned in close to Joe and put her hand on his thigh. “You’re cute. Do you want to come home with me?” She asked. Judging by her droopy eyelids, swaying and aggressive advances, Erica may have had one too many drinks. Joe didn’t care though, this was the perfect opportunity.

“Sure,” he replied. “I’ll drive.” 

Erica directed Joe to a charming apartment complex just 5 blocks from Liberty’s. Her studio was in the back. As she struggled to get her key in the lock, it became clear to Joe that Erica may be a bit too drunk to fuck. Good. Eventually, Erica managed to get the door open. 

“What a lovely home you have,” Joe exclaimed. He really did like it. It reminded him of a rock star’s dressing room. Georgie would like it here too.

“It’s all I can afford,” spouted Erica. Joe looked around while she rambled on about her stupid ex-husband and their recent divorce. He admired her wardrobe – her dresses, her jewelry, her shoes. Georgie is going to freak.

“Hey Erica, where’s the – “ He turned around and saw Erica passed out on her bed, still wearing her sexy purple dress. Nevermind. He lifted his shirt and pulled out a neatly folded bag that he had stashed under his belt. 

He walked straight to Erica’s clothing racks. One dress in particular stood out to him. It was a low-cut black mini that would really show off Georgie’s fantastic perky tits. Joe was getting a boner just thinking about it. He grabbed the dress off its hanger and shoved it in his bag. Now I need accessories. 

Erica was a big fan of gold, just like Georgie. She had gaudy gold necklaces and bangle bracelets spread across her vanity. Joe picked up each piece, one by one, and analyzed it. Nothing but the best for his love. 

Across the room, Erica stirred in bed. “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?!” She yelled. 

Before Joe could even think, Erica had him pushed down against her vanity. She grabbed him by his shirt with one hand and yanked him close. Oh shit, this bitch is strong.

“Listen here, mister. You better tell me what the fuck you’re doing, or I will beat the shit out of you.” Erica slapped Joe across the face, and she continued to slap him until he finally caved.

“Okay, okay, I’ll speak,” he cried. “They’re gifts… for my girlfriend… She can’t move.”

“Take me to her now,” demanded Erica. Joe agreed, and together they drove across town to his studio, which was very plain and uninspiring compared to Erica’s. 

“Well, here we are,” Joe chuckled nervously. He opened his door much quicker than Erica did hers earlier. He turned on a light and called out to Georgie, “Honey, I’m home and I brought someone with me who is just dying to meet you.”

Erica’s mouth dropped as soon as she saw Georgie’s lifeless body in bed. “Um, is that what I think it is? Is that a fucking sex doll?!” She hollered. “Your girlfriend is a fucking sex doll?!” 

Joe stood completely still as Erica roared with laughter. “I love her…” He muttered. 

Erica took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. She looked Joe in the eyes and said, “Oh honey, of course you do.” She smiled. He smiled back. Then, BAM! Erica knocked Joe out with just one punch. “Eat shit,” she said and spit in his hair.

When Joe woke up, he was alone in his bed. Everything hurt – his head throbbed, his muscles ached, but worst of all was the shooting pain in his pelvic area. “What happened to me?!” He screamed. He could barely move but was able to muster up enough strength to lift the blanket. He wanted to inspect his body but he was wrapped tight in layers of blood-soaked bandages. “Oh my God, what happened?! Georgie? Georgie! Where are you?!” 

Joe spotted an envelope on the pillow next to him. Inside was a photograph. “No, no no,” he wailed. He could not believe his eyes. He looked down at his bandaged pelvis and then back at the photo. How could this be? Erica had cut off his dick and fucked Georgie with it. She took a selfie while railing Georgie from behind with his dick! “Why?!” He shrieked, and then he noticed the note on the back.

It read, “Never touch a woman’s things. Georgie’s mine now, bitch. Oh, and so is your dick. Peace.”

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January 27, 2021

A Day in the Life of a Lou

By Rhonda

Monday morning, the Lou walks into work, a small office with cubicles lining the walls. He squints under the incandescent lighting, and scratches his fully erect penis with the stapler in his hand. The Lou’s coworkers stare at him when he walks by their desks. They grimace, as the smell of cigarettes fills the air around them. The Lou is hungover — again. The skin under his eyes is dark and droopy, and his mouth is so dry, he can’t help but smack his tongue against his palate, in an effort to produce drool.

The woman who sits in the cubicle across from the Lou’s is wearing a loosely fitted dress to mask the extra 50 pounds she carries around her waist and thighs. The Lou stops, and greets the woman. He thinks her rotund figure is “breathtaking.”

“Hello, Gertrude,” he smiles. The woman stares at the blue computer screen in front of her, and prays that the Lou will leave her area without rubbing his hard-on against her back. The Lou’s “problem” is well known among his coworkers, and just two weeks ago, the woman underwent a hysterectomy to avoid any potential mishaps. Considering the Lou’s superiority over his coworkers, he is able to get away with even the most demoralizing acts.

The Lou pats the woman on the shoulder, sniffs her ear, and walks away. He peers into the empty cubicle on the other side of the woman’s. A blood stain covers the floor beneath the swivel chair. The Lou sighs. His all-consuming urges are even too much for him, sometimes.

Last month, a coworker — an older gentleman who often took off his shoes in the office — told the Lou about the recent birth of his granddaughter. The Lou’s insides boiled with excitement. The thought of a woman’s vagina ripping open caused his entire body to tremor. The Lou blacked out, and by the time he regained control of reality, in front of him laid the man with his pants wrapped around his ankles and blood pouring from his anus. The Lou looked down. His penis was also covered in blood. Behind him stood three women, screaming. The Lou had fucked the man’s butthole so hard, he ruptured his colon.

LouThe Lou shook his head, in an effort to rid his mind of such ungodly memories. He walked into the backroom connected to the office. Under the dim lights, stood three rows of giant computers. When the Lou’s impulsivity was too much to bear, he shoved his penis between the machines, and thrust ferociously. The Lou did this so often, none of his coworkers dared to go back there. Ever. They knew the consequences if the Lou were to see them during his moments of weakness.

Upset, the Lou pulled his pants down, and rubbed his protruding colon on the warm computers. He growled and moaned. He quivered, and rubbed harder. The pleasure intensified, causing the Lou to collapse to his knees. On all fours, he continued to rub his colon against the metal, until finally, he wailed and squirted jizz all over the floor in front of him. The Lou gasped for air, and fell over into the juicy mess. He squirmed until he fell asleep. With his pants around his ankles, the Lou, covered in jizz, slept until around noon, when it was time to eat donuts.

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November 27, 2020

Bullseye

By Rhonda

Ding. The elevator doors slide open, revealing a seedy narrow hallway. Johnny steps out, unsure if he is in the right place. Many of the buttons on the elevator didn’t light up, including the one for the 3rd floor, which is where he is trying to go. He looks around for clues – nothing but yellow-stained wallpaper lines the walls. 

At the end of the hallway, Johnny spots a door. He walks towards it and stares at the dents in its wooden frame. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He still has no idea if he is at the right place, but he knows there is only one way to find out, so he knocks.

A scrawny woman, wearing a short gold dress and combat boots, answers the door. “May I help you?” She asks.

“Uhh…” Johnny hesitates. “…Yeah, I think so.”

The woman smirks. “You must be Johnny,” she says, brushing her black hair out of her face. “I’m Boomquifa. Please come in.” 

Johnny returns a nervous smile and follows Boomquifa into her rundown studio apartment. He immediately notices a laminated paper dartboard on the back wall. A red bucket sits directly below it, and about six feet in front of it lay a large pile of surprisingly plump pillows. 

“60 bucks,” Boomquifa demands. Johnny fiddles around in his pant pockets before pulling out a wad of 5-dollar bills. “Thank you. Now, go over there. Stand in front of the pillows and face the dartboard.” Johnny obeys. 

Boomquifa walks over to the kitchen counter. She hums as she grabs a fresh balloon and slides the end of it over a small funnel.

“So… When did… When did you find out?” Johnny stutters. “How did you find out that… you know…?” 

Boomquifa stops what she is doing and looks up at him. His nervousness makes her giddy. She leans against the counter and grins as she recalls her past.

“Funny story, actually. When I was a young girl, I used to love playing outside. Once I was out there, I never wanted to go back in – not even to eat or use the toilet. I just loved to frolic.” She chuckled. “Anyway, one day when I was popping a squat out back, a lizard ran through the waterfall between my feet and just started spazzing out before going completely limp. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was the craziest thing. So, I started peeing on as many living creatures as I could find. Turned out, my pee only affected males, never females. As I got older, this whole peeing-on-animals thing became a thing of the past… until I met this freaky ass dude in college. He asked me to pee on him, so I did. And that’s when I learned what was really going on with those little critters. My pee was making them cum like a mother fucker. So hard, they couldn’t move an inch after!” 

Boomquifa bursts out laughing. She notices the frightened look on Johnny’s face and reassures him, “Don’t worry, baby! You have nothing to worry about.” 

As she catches her breath, she spreads her legs and puts the wide end of the funnel up the her vagina. She pees, and when the balloon is almost full, she removes the funnel from it and ties it. 

“Pull off your pants and line your feet up with the edge of the pillows,” she tells Johnny. “And keep facing that dartboard.”

Johnny does what she says but questions her method. “Why do you have to fill a balloon? Why don’t you just pee on me?”

Boomquifa pauses before responding, “I guess it is just more fun this way.” She cackles and launches the pee-filled balloon at his head.

Within seconds, Johnny feels an intense rush throughout his body. Every inch of him is flooded with an orgasmic sensation. He looks down. His penis is throbbing, standing more erect than ever before.

He tries to speak, but he can’t. His thoughts are jumbled, he can’t make out any words. Instead, he lets out a loud squeal, and as soon as he does, a thick stream of cum shoots out of his cock and smashes against the bullseye of the dartboard. The force of the cum shot knocks him off his feet and onto the pile of pillows, where he passes out immediately. As he sleeps, his cum drips down the dartboard and into the bucket below.

When Johnny wakes up, Boomquifa is gone. All of her things are gone. Even the pillows he lay on are gone. What the fuck just happened? Did I just dream all of that?

Johnny stands and pulls up his pants. His legs still feel flimsy like rubber bands. He looks around again. I gotta get out of here.

On his way to the door, he passes the bathroom and sees something that stops him dead in his tracks. Written across the mirror with his cum was the word “Bullseye”.

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September 27, 2020

The Pleasure Toilet

By Rhonda

“Pull off. I need to pee,” exclaimed Laura, pointing to the exit ramp ahead. She and her best friend, Christen, had been driving north through Kentucky for a couple hours now.

“You really want to stop here? There’s nothing off this exit except some rundown gas station!” Christen replied, looking around.

“We are in the middle of nowhere, so what other option do I have? Let’s go!” Laura insisted, grabbing her crotch. “I really have to pee, dude.”

Christen sighed, “Okay, okay.” She turned right into the gas station and pulled up to the first pump. “I guess I’ll fill up while we’re here.”

As soon as the car was in park, Laura jumped out and ran inside.

“Quick, where’s the restroom?” she asked the attendant, again grabbing her crotch.

“It’s right back there, but – “ Before the attendant could finish, Laura had darted toward the back. She flung the bathroom door open, turned on the light and undid her belt buckle. She was about to pull her pants down, when she glanced up. What she saw stopped her dead in her tracks.

“What the fuck is this?” she blurted. Three feet in front of her was a large toilet with two arm-like pipes dangling out the sides of it. One pipe had a small plunger attached to it. She walked up to it and kicked it. “Ha! How fucking weird is this shit?!” she snickered.

Laura pulled down her pants below her knees and plopped onto the toilet, which had a bowl so big, she had to balance herself on the seat in such a way that her ass wouldn’t fall through.

“Ah, yes,” she grinned, finally relieving her bladder. She looked around for toilet paper but couldn’t find any. “Ugh, for real?”

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the toilet started to rumble. Laura grabbed the seat.

“Oh my god, oh my god. What the fuck is happening?!” she shrieked, and the toilet wrapped its pipes around her. “Holy shit! Are you alive? Someone help!”

“Hush. It’s okay, my child,” the toilet tried to soothe Laura, but his attempts were useless. Laura just kept screaming. “Honey, I have exactly what you need. Please, trust me,” he professed. Still, Laura cried for help.

“Alright, alright then. This ought to do the trick,” the toilet exclaimed, shooting water up against Laura’s clit. Immediately, she relaxed. She took her hands off the toilet and let her body go limp. “See? I told you I got what you need.”

“Ohh, yes, yes,” Laura beamed, as the toilet continued to spray her clit.

“Let’s heat things up a bit, shall we?” the toilet chuckled. He ran his plunger down Laura’s stomach and into the bowl beneath her, inserting the handle deep inside of her. Laura squealed as the toilet wiggled the plunger around.

“Ah, I knew you’d like that,” the toilet said. He rubbed the handle against Laura’s g-spot, still simultaneously spraying her clit with water.

Laura could not contain herself any longer. A wave of pleasure gushed through her body. Her vision went blurry. She was approaching ecstasy.

“Oh toilet, oh toilet,” she wailed over and over again.

And as she did, Christen walked inside.

Hearing Laura’s loud moans, she turned to the gas attendant and asked, “What in the world is going on in there?” But of course, before the attendant could answer, Christen walked back to the bathroom. “Laura? Laura? Can you hear me, Laura?!” she yelled.

“Yes, yes! I’m cumming!” Laura howled. Her body spasmed as she orgasmed, and her juices filled the bowl. Immediately after, the toilet loosened his grip, causing Laura to fall back against him, her ass hitting the water beneath her.

“Oh my, toilet. That was amazing. No one’s ever made me squirt before,” she uttered, trying to catch her breath. The toilet didn’t respond. “Toilet? Toilet?” She scrambled to her feet.

“Toilet?!” she cried. Still, the toilet didn’t respond. He didn’t move at all, his pipes were back at their original positions.

“Nooo,” she weeped, pulling up her pants. She yanked the bathroom door open and ran out right into Christen, who was still standing outside listening in. “He’s gone! He’s fucking gone!”

“Who is gone? What the fuck happened in there?!” Christen demanded answers.

“The toilet! He made sweet love to me, then abandoned me just like that!” Laura sobbed and hurried out the door to the car.

Christen was completely dumbfounded.

“What the fuck ever, dude,” she said. “I have to pee, I am going in.” She pushed the bathroom door open and walked inside. She looked at the toilet and laughed. “Seriously?” 

Shaking her head, she pulled down her pants below her knees and plopped down.

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May 27, 2020

Traveling Trucker Whores

By Rhonda

“Ugh, what the fuck,” Jaimi cursed, as she ran a small black comb through the dried jizz that matted her hair. She had just finished with one of her regulars – the one who was notorious for pulling out and cumming on her face (and inevitably in her hair) whether she wanted him to or not.

“Mother fucker,” she blurted, as the door to the otherwise empty bathroom flung open. In walked a stocky young woman in a tight yellow dress.

“Well, aren’t you a looker,” said the woman. Jaimi threw her comb into the sink and turned around.

“Excuse me?” She asked.

“You’re pretty,” answered the woman. “I like your hair. I wish mine flowed like yours.” It’s true, Jaimi did have long golden locks. Even matted, her hair looked much healthier than the woman’s poorly colored pixie cut. “My name is Wrigley. Do you need help?”

“Wrigley? What kind of name is that?” Jaimi quizzed.

“My parents wanted a dog,” the woman responded. “Do you want some help or not?” Without a word, Jaimi picked the comb up out of sink and handed it to Wrigley, who immediately started brushing. “So, what are you doing in a rest area bathroom with jizz in your hair?”

“I work here,” Jaimi replied and pointed to the stack of $20 bills sticking out of her purse. “What are you doing in a rest area bathroom helping a stranger?”

“I just hitched a ride with a trucker. Told him to drop me off here,” Wrigley smirked. “I guess we’re in the same line of work… I just get around more.”

“You mean you’re a traveling trucker whore?” Jaimi asked.

“I have to be. Let’s just say my signature move isn’t always well received,” Wrigley grinned.

“What? What does – “ Jaimi tried to respond, but Wrigley cut her off before she could finish.

“C’mon, I’ll show you!” She squealed. She threw Jaimi’s comb back in the sink and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her out of the bathroom.

Outside it was dark, and the headlights from a couple semi-trucks parked nearby made it hard to see. Wrigley scoured the area.

“Over there!” She yelled, letting go of Jaimi’s arm and pointing to a large bald man leaning against his truck. “Let’s go.”

Wrigley scrunched up her hair and wiped her mouth. She stuck her chest out and strutted toward the man. Jaimi adjusted her boobs in her little black dress and followed close behind.

“Hello handsome. Ever get a blowie from two girls at once?” Wrigley got straight to the point, which impressed Jaimi. The man looked them both up and down.

“Well hello to you too. How much?” He inquired, licking his lips.

“Hundred bucks,” Wrigley answered. Hundred bucks? Jaimi was even more impressed.

“Hmm,” the man pondered, then pulled out a wad of cash and handed it to Wrigley. “This better be worth it,” he said. Wrigley grabbed his hand and led him to the woods behind the rest area bathrooms. Jaimi again followed close behind.

“Lie down and take off your pants,” Wrigley demanded. She could sense the man’s hesitation. “It will be better this way. I promise,” she smiled and winked.

“Anything for you, darling,” the man chuckled and did as he was told. After he got down and lay half naked on the leaf-covered ground, Wrigley spit on his dick and got to work. She massaged the head with her tongue, before making the whole thing disappear in her mouth. The man groaned.

Jaimi got down on her hands and knees too, and began fondling the man’s balls. She leaned in closer, tickling the sack with her tongue.

“Oh my God, this is totally worth it. You ladies got me ready to nut already,” the man moaned louder and louder. “Oh shit, here it comes!” He wailed and came in Wrigley’s mouth. She swallowed.

“Wowee, you all are some talented young women. I don’t think I’ve ever cum that fast from head. I am definitely coming back to this rest area again soon.” As the man rambled on, still lying half naked on the ground trying to catch his breath, Wrigley pulled out a small tube of super glue from between her boobs.

“Let me just give it one more kiss,” Wrigley giggled. She caressed the man’s dick with one hand and gave it a tiny peck on the head. Then in a blink of an eye, she took the super glue in her other hand and squirted it in the man’s pee hole.

“What, what the fuck was that?!” The man screeched. “What the fuck did you just do to me?!” He reached down and felt the tip of his dick. “Did you, did you do what I think you just did?! Why you little whore!”

 “Fuck you and your cock!” Wrigley hollered. “Let’s get out of here!” She yelled to Jaimi, and the two of them went running out of the woods while the man scrambled to his feet, trying to run and pull up his pants at the same time.

“I’ll get you, you bitch!” The man screamed after them.

“Come and get me, baby!” Wrigley shouted and blew a kiss back at the man. “There! He’s leaving. Let’s get in his truck!” She urged, pointing to a semi-truck getting ready to pull out of the rest area. She and Jaimi bolted toward it. Wrigley opened the passenger door.

“Please sir, please help us! There’s someone after us!” she cried, and before the driver could answer, she and Jaimi climbed in and slammed the door shut behind them. “Thank you, sir, thank you so much.”

“Let’s get you out of here,” the driver insisted and shifted the gear into drive.

As the semi-truck rolled away, Wrigley and Jaimi could see the man in their rearview mirror frantically searching the rest area for them. They looked at each other and laughed, both recognizing this was the start of a beautiful friendship.

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