Ding. The elevator doors slide open, revealing a seedy narrow hallway. Johnny steps out, unsure if he is in the right place. Many of the buttons on the elevator didn’t light up, including the one for the 3rd floor, which is where he is trying to go. He looks around for clues – nothing but yellow-stained wallpaper lines the walls.
At the end of the hallway, Johnny spots a door. He walks towards it and stares at the dents in its wooden frame. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He still has no idea if he is at the right place, but he knows there is only one way to find out, so he knocks.
A scrawny woman, wearing a short gold dress and combat boots, answers the door. “May I help you?” She asks.
“Uhh…” Johnny hesitates. “…Yeah, I think so.”
The woman smirks. “You must be Johnny,” she says, brushing her black hair out of her face. “I’m Boomquifa. Please come in.”
Johnny returns a nervous smile and follows Boomquifa into her rundown studio apartment. He immediately notices a laminated paper dartboard on the back wall. A red bucket sits directly below it, and about six feet in front of it lay a large pile of surprisingly plump pillows.
“60 bucks,” Boomquifa demands. Johnny fiddles around in his pant pockets before pulling out a wad of 5-dollar bills. “Thank you. Now, go over there. Stand in front of the pillows and face the dartboard.” Johnny obeys.
Boomquifa walks over to the kitchen counter. She hums as she grabs a fresh balloon and slides the end of it over a small funnel.
“So… When did… When did you find out?” Johnny stutters. “How did you find out that… you know…?”
Boomquifa stops what she is doing and looks up at him. His nervousness makes her giddy. She leans against the counter and grins as she recalls her past.
“Funny story, actually. When I was a young girl, I used to love playing outside. Once I was out there, I never wanted to go back in – not even to eat or use the toilet. I just loved to frolic.” She chuckled. “Anyway, one day when I was popping a squat out back, a lizard ran through the waterfall between my feet and just started spazzing out before going completely limp. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was the craziest thing. So, I started peeing on as many living creatures as I could find. Turned out, my pee only affected males, never females. As I got older, this whole peeing-on-animals thing became a thing of the past… until I met this freaky ass dude in college. He asked me to pee on him, so I did. And that’s when I learned what was really going on with those little critters. My pee was making them cum like a mother fucker. So hard, they couldn’t move an inch after!”
Boomquifa bursts out laughing. She notices the frightened look on Johnny’s face and reassures him, “Don’t worry, baby! You have nothing to worry about.”
As she catches her breath, she spreads her legs and puts the wide end of the funnel up the her vagina. She pees, and when the balloon is almost full, she removes the funnel from it and ties it.
“Pull off your pants and line your feet up with the edge of the pillows,” she tells Johnny. “And keep facing that dartboard.”
Johnny does what she says but questions her method. “Why do you have to fill a balloon? Why don’t you just pee on me?”
Boomquifa pauses before responding, “I guess it is just more fun this way.” She cackles and launches the pee-filled balloon at his head.
Within seconds, Johnny feels an intense rush throughout his body. Every inch of him is flooded with an orgasmic sensation. He looks down. His penis is throbbing, standing more erect than ever before.
He tries to speak, but he can’t. His thoughts are jumbled, he can’t make out any words. Instead, he lets out a loud squeal, and as soon as he does, a thick stream of cum shoots out of his cock and smashes against the bullseye of the dartboard. The force of the cum shot knocks him off his feet and onto the pile of pillows, where he passes out immediately. As he sleeps, his cum drips down the dartboard and into the bucket below.
When Johnny wakes up, Boomquifa is gone. All of her things are gone. Even the pillows he lay on are gone. What the fuck just happened? Did I just dream all of that?
Johnny stands and pulls up his pants. His legs still feel flimsy like rubber bands. He looks around again. I gotta get out of here.
On his way to the door, he passes the bathroom and sees something that stops him dead in his tracks. Written across the mirror with his cum was the word “Bullseye”.
The Dong Files 